This week, we’re going to be talking about the voices in your head and identifying which ones are on your side and which ones try to keep you small.
If you’ve seen the movie Inside Out, it’s kind of like that. Who’s in the control tower? There are all these different emotions in your mind, but replace those little characters of emotions with these voices. Each with a past, a story, point of view of how they want you to feel. These voices are trying to help you, and often they do, but without context sometimes we can take what we hear quite literally instead of understanding, in context, how they’re trying to help us.
The Three Voices
The first is the ego voice, which is the voice that helps us move forward towards things that are going to make us feel big, important and recognized. This voice is often not as much connected to the heart, to our vulnerability, but instead connected to safety (physical, emotional, mental). What’s going to keep us safe? What’s going to make us feel successful and protected? What’s going to keep us from showing who we really are in front of people we trust and respect? That’s the ego voice. It’s persistent, especially as you start to try not to listen to it, it gets louder trying to keep you protected. But sometimes, being right or being protected is not what is going to serve our growth or our overall happiness.
The second is the voice of fear. It could also be called the voice of reason, and it is often the one that tries to keep us small. It’s the one that’s about settling, it’s about pleasing, and not asking for what you want. It wants to hide in the corner and stay small and let life go by to avoid feeling discomfort or rejection, because it’s easier to not be seen. What if someone judges me? What if I was wrong… and I fail? What if I can never find something/someone better?
The third voice is of love. It’s confident, succinct and clear. It’s unwaiver and yet isn’t the loudest one, usually. It doesn’t need to impress anybody. That voice is the voice of your true self, your higher self: full faith and trust and it’s there to lead you in the right direction. The voice of clarity that comes in when you need it the most, and it’s just a few words. For many people, they sound something like this:
- Yes, that’s a good idea.
- Call that person.
- It’s going to be okay.
- Try again. Look again.
- That’s not a good idea.
- Go back.
- You don’t have to worry.
All of these tiny little messages are powerful and unattached to anything except what’s best for you. It’s a whisper and sometimes it gets loud when the stakes are really high.
When you can connect to that inner voice that’s on your side, you unlock so much confidence and faith in yourself, and you don’t have to make any drastic commitments or drastic changes, just start noticing it. Simply listen to it, hear it. Start discerning the different voices in your head that are coming from different parts of you, and when you make a decision, be really clear on where you’re making that decision from. Which voice are you listening to? Are you making that decision from a place of faith and trust and pure alignment with who you are? Or from a place of fear, from a place of not wanting to be too big or too speak to seen or ask for too much? Become aware of what voice you’re listening to and how you’re acting.
When you’re quiet in your mind and you’re asking for the voice of truth, your inner council, listen for it and see if you can hear it. This voice does not yell at you. This voice does not say things that make you feel bad. It’s the opposite. It’s the voice of confidence. It’s the voice of trust. It’s the voice of pure love.
Your Practice for This Week:
To get started, I want you to start looking inward.
Close your eyes, pretend like the back of your eyes can actually see inside your head. Take a moment to notice what you’re sensing. Are there many compartments to your brain? Is there one that’s very messy? Can you sense where the different voices in your had live? Is there one voice on one side, another voice on the other? Can you sense a color for each voice or maybe a sense of density? Begin to self reflect on what is driving your actions, your habits, your beliefs. Our life is often guided by these voices and spending a moment to be sure you’re giving yourself the best “advice” is well worth it.
Another word about your inner dialog:
If you’re feeling scared or unsafe with the voices in your head, please reach out through your insurance to a psychologist or psychiatrist to talk to them about that.
Other resources for assistance can be found on MentalHealth.gov